Seinfeld quotes … after a long time!

Jerry: [during stand-up] To me, the thing about birthday parties is that the first birthday party you have and the last birthday party you have are actually quite similar. You know, you just kinda sit there…you’re the least excited person at the party. You don’t even really realize that there is a party. You don’t know what’s goin’ on. Both birthday parties, people have to kinda help you blow out the candles, you can’t do it…you don’t even know why you’re doing it. What is this ritual?

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Elaine: He recycled this gift. He’s a regifter.

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Estelle: Georgie, I’m a divorcee.

George: No, you’re not a divorcee. You’re just separated. You’re — you’re a “separatee.”

Estelle: Well, I’m out there, George.

George: No, you’re not out there.

Estelle: I am, too!

George: You’re not out there! You can’t be, because I am out there. And if I see you out there, there’s not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence!

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Susan (engaged to George): I just want you to know that I love your son very much.

Estelle (George’s mother): You do?

Susan: : Yes.

Estelle: Really?

Susan: : Yes.

Estelle: May I ask why?

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George: Right now, I sit around pretending that I’m busy.

Jerry: How do you pull that off?

George: I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all the time, people think that you’re busy. Think about it… [puts on an annoyed face]

Elaine: Yeah, you do! He looks very busy!

Jerry: Yeah, he looks busy! Yeah!

George: I know what I’m doin.’ In fact Mr. Wilhelm gave me one of those little stress dolls. All right, back to work. [puts on the annoyed face]

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